In my last blog I recounted a synchronous occurrence a few weeks back on my flight home, when I met Bhupendra Badhe, MD, and we spoke about yoga philosophy. He let me know that his teacher’s name, the one who taught him about the formula for happiness, is Vedic scholar and teacher Jaya Row of Vedanta Vision. She spends her time interpreting and teaching ancient Vedic wisdom so that the current, modern populations of the world can understand and use its immense wisdom in everyday life. I’m so happy to have learned more from Bhupendra (who is now a friend on Facebook – thank you social network for connecting us even though we live on opposite sides of the planet) and to be able to share the source of some of the wisdom of my last blog with you.
Apparently what I wrote was a HOT topic! I have heard from many of you readers in emails, comments, and conversations at class about how much you liked the last blog and wanted to know more. Shortly after my last post, I taught a series of classes and sessions here in Chicago themed around desire and happiness. I wanted to explore with yoga postures and breathing exercises the conscious connection to the formula for happiness in my last blog via Jaya Row and Vedanta Vision – happiness = number of desires achieved divided by number of desires total. What came up from the student perspective was incredible.
Some students said it was inappropriate of me to speak about desire in a yoga class – that it was a topic not spiritual enough to be associated with yoga practice. I think they might have only associated desire with sexual intimacy and not in any greater realm or definition.
Other students said they left classes feeling completely and utterly empowered to go after long hidden wants in their life. That feeling into their desires on the mats led them to great insight and motivation into desire in their life that they had not previously recognized.
Still other students said the classes left them feeling hollow because they had no idea what they desired truly in any arena of their life. They realized that what they went after in their poses, practice and life had nothing to do with what they really wanted, but rather more to do with what was expected of them or what was “correct.”
This really affected me – and made me think about the extreme power of desire to shape our lives. As a follow up to my last blog, I wanted to share with you some ideas on harnessing the potent force of what you most desire, refining it into a smaller number of big true desires, and then going after them!
Desire is not a dirty word. As living creatures we are highly motivated by desire – and if we do not consciously examine what and why we desire, then these wants will control us mindlessly. By studying and examining what we want, when we want it, and distilling the pieces of why we want it, we can learn how to use desire to propel in a direction of delight. If we suppress or avoid desire, maligning it as something “unspiritual” or “wrong,” we risk cutting off a piece of our personal power, a piece of our motivation, and really a huge chunk of our Spirit. When refined, desire can become delicious Spirit food.
My own teacher, Ana Forrest, creatrix of Forrest Yoga, speaks often about desire. She does so in a very particular way. In her work with me, she has had me very clearly imagine, visualize, and write about the person I most desire to be. In doing so, she has taught me how to see whom I most want to be and then to craft steps to become that person – even as that person is evolving. This exercise has also shown me “false desires” – those desires like having a certain amount of money, or owning a big house, that are not my own but are ingrained in me from outside influences like culture and upbringing. By envisioning the qualities of the person you most want to be, you can quite literally sculpt a future self out of your current experience base and take steps to be anyone and anything. Without acknowledging who you deeply yearn to be, you simple absorb the desires marketed around you and take them up as your life. This taking on of someone else’s desires chokes off the voice of your Spirit and the wisdom of your deepest self. As an example, the person I most desire to be is a healer, kind, honest, full of integrity, compassionate, passionate, teacher, inspiring, among many other qualities. Because I consciously know that I desire these qualities in myself, I take action in my everyday life to practice healing, to be kind, to speak the truth, to act within the boundaries of my own integrity, to define and embody compassion in my own way, to stoke passion, to practice teaching, to create ways of inspiring and being inspired, etc.
“To discover what we truly desire we must first strip away what we’ve been taught to desire: a certain weight, a certain clothing, a certain mate, all the things that mean we are successful and happy. Out of love and concern, your parents might have inadvertently imposed their desires on you to become a doctor or to make a certain amount of money rather than follow your innate gifts and skills. We have to look beyond surfaces and discern a true desire. Perhaps you think you want to be really rich, but what you really desire is to live free from the fear of want.” – Ana Forrest
Ana also guides her students deeper into desire by exploring all the facets of a seemingly simple desire in daily life – like food, sleep habits, book choices. I’ll give you an example. Some of you who know me well know that I love chocolate – borderline crazy about chocolate. Several times over the course of the last 10 years, I’ve experimented with not eating any chocolate for significant chunks of time even though I desire to eat it all the time. Now this may seem like I’m thwarting my own happiness according to the desire formula above, but really what it has afforded me is a view into what I REALLY desire. And what I really desire is not a caffeinated combination of sweetness and antioxidants wrapped in a brown package, but a physical manifestation of a delicious way of combining bitterness and sweetness in a desirable way. My life has had a lot of bitter moments (whose hasn’t!!) and a lot of incredibly sweet moments, but one of my challenges – and one of my deep desires in life – has been to evolve enough to combine them into a meaningful life. Chocolate was a physical way I was expressing that desire. And now that I know this about my great desire, I still enjoy chocolate but I do not crave it or need it in the way I used to. Maybe you have a sleep desire or a TV show you always desire to watch that holds for a you an actual deeper desire – a much bigger desire that encompasses not only the TV show but something greater in your life. Learn the bigger desire that houses all the other little desires, go after it and knock it off your leaderboard, and a different kind of happiness will surely abound.
The next time you feel desire tugging at your mind-strings, or your heart-strings, take a deep breath and listen. Feel inside – what does that desire really ask of you? What do you really want from your moment or life? Acknowledging and welcoming desire, harnessing its powerful ability to motivate and inspire you is an important part of your development of Self. “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” – Rumi